I think I...

im feeling rather down these days. something on mind has been troubling me, and that sucks. this is so as it shows that im thinking too much, and its gradually getting out of control. how i wished it would just stop, completely.
cos,
this isn't nice at all.

plus,
projects assignments & tests are killing me.
)'=

the teacher is absolutely the damn bitch of today. spoil my mood first thing in the morning. guess shes in her pms mode. but what the hell can, im not the only one who is not attentive. there are obviously dozens are there who is not too. cant blame old people, their mindset is indeed different from ours. sigh, pathetic.

sorry, but you fucking bitch.

whats true or not;
i dont wanna know.

BYE.

maybe thats called unrequited love, you just have to accept it and move on. because it will be too tiring to think about how it had just slipped pass from ourself.

so, (=

this man above is just shit.

so i've got 2 jobs for me to choose from. sushi tei or bakerzia? each has its pros and cons. sushi tei offers higher pay of cos, but bakerzia is just a door away from rkz! that means i can meet my former colleagues anytime i want to. however, im scared though. although i miss them, but that also means i may face the dumbass manager anytime which i never feel like to. furthermore, the people in rkz for me to look forward to is getting lesser. all thanks again, to the dumbass manager.
sigh,
i dunno la.

let see who calls first.

im feeling as if i've broken up with my boyfriends. eww~
painful..

seeing the pictures made my heart aches. although it was merely a part time job for less than 3 months, the *people there were wonderful. i've never been working so willingly and happy before. but we've met the wrong boss i guess. thus eventually, everything turns out bad. anyway, im gonna visit you guys as often as i could. but provided that MR DIRECTOR is not there. its ominous to have him around, especially during peak hours.. its nothing but hell la. hes either blocking the way or pressuring workers with suspicious glares. probably he should get some management skills.. or as well enroll in sp business. oh no, cant. cos it'll cause misery to our sucha lovely school then. whats more, with his oh-so-fucked-up character, i assume he couldnt go any further. okay, lets just say im looking down on him. yes, he will never improve. the up-sloping sales are all the hard work of MAMA-SAN, full-timers ( i mean some okay), chefs (except for 2), and part timers. from what i've learnt so far, SOME PEOPLE are just bullshit. yes, BULLSHIT. knew nothing and yet acting like they've got IQ of 150. did nothing and yet showing the DID-YOU-SEE-HOW-MUCH-I-DO look. oh well, people. get a life. do u need to fake yourself in order to please the people "above" you? if this continues, i advice you to join MEDIACORP PTD LTD. thats where you can show your potential la, dumbos.

*refers to a specific lot. if you think you're included, then you're not. thats only my dearies..
so its not you, not you, not you, and not you.

i'll never forget all of you de.
MAMA-SAN, dun be sad! be strong okie. they need you as their role model.. thats why your called this name (=
everybody must work hard yo (;

sometimes, i think im too noisy, hot-tempered and easily gets agitated. Even for minor things, once it gets into my way and digs into my patience.. i'll just lose it. However, its embarrassing to recall that i've threw tantrums. I always tried to improve.. to be more understanding, tolerant and quiet.. but it seems no improvement. Thus, i wanna say a thousand sorries.. Really. Just wanna apologise for the attitudes that i've given or is giving sometimes, especially at work. I dun mean to look so gloomy and bu shuang. But theres alot of things that im stress on.. be it school work or with LAO DA manager. The latter is making me upset already. So please pardon me okay? Tell me if im really bad or what.. Let me know ba, at least i can change. (=
p/s: Thats because i wanna treasure everyone of you. Dun say i emo or what, but you guys are great. ((=

today has been a good day if its not because of my dumbass manager. yea, LAO DA (as what we've always called it).
went to work at 5pm.. reached there slacked awhile and started cracking. bored. bored. bored. no business until 7+pm when customers came flooding in. okay la, not alot. countable by tables. so blaa. everyone looked so tensed up. )= me too. i actually forgot to turn off the tap when im refilling the tea pot until sebastian noticed it. so the boiling water overflowed and was all on the table. sigh~ blaaa.
requested gigi to have me dismissed earlier. granted. went to meet syaq and the rest at durian rooftop. see photos; crapped; joke; laugh; home! saw tiffany and xueyan there too, went to say hi to her before she goes off. hee. today was oh-so-much coincidence. ahaha.. saw tiff, xueyan, shunfa and frens, and sebastian at the same bus stop! the world is so small la.. (=

ta-.

now in the school library doing fom project. later around 6pm will be heading to work at rkz.
tired, although i don't look like it at all. well, this are what i did for the last 2 days..
tuesday:
skipped statistics mst because i didn't manage to finish studying~ aha. went clementi polyclinic to take MC with maisie. WE'RE STILL GOOD GIRLS OKAY. (= after that went back to school. ate my lunch. then after went Rp to study accounts with syaq, jiuyuan, leonard, elijah and irving. blaaaaa. home.
wednesday:
went to school at 8am to have a last minute revision with syaq and jiuyuan. im late, reached at about 8.45am.. ya, i know la -LATE QUEEN. the accounts paper is quite alright i can say. its only the time factor!! 1 hour for 2 long questions. so there goes to my question on disposal, din mange to complete the last 2 sections. my marks... )=
after that went accounts make-up lecture. oh me, our pacc lecturer confirm is ah lian can. hohoho, but this makes the boring lecture more fun la.
went to fc 6 to have lunch with the rest, moly! and spiderving were there too. slacked a while since its raining, mrt-ed to ps after that. played arcade as usual. went foodcourt to eat.. and i manage to catch a wink la. im so-so tired can. after that chewy came and we went paradiz centre. they played cs at lan shop. okay, and i fell asleep one more time! in a lan shop somemore~ aha
went jamming from 8.30 to 9.30pm. played drums. argh, i need to practised harder. /=
mrt-ed home after that. daym tired.

-ta.

im sad;
shattered;
heart-broken..
you're kind. you dun wanna hurt anyone.
so you acted blur by keeping quiet.
but giving false hope at times..
it makes ppl real happy and hopeful.
and you swing ppl's mood,
by treating each and other differently.
"sourness"...
time passed by,
im getting tired & shattered inside.
previous wounds have healed,
but im stupid, i hurt myself again intentionally...
i worked, chilled out and played just to keep myself busy,
so that my mind wont have any storage space for you.
i did it, sort of.
im happy. (=
but time seems to be unfriendly with me.
in the blink of an eye,
school started.
i cant wait,
i wanna feel how is it like when im not hopeful anymore,
and not have butterflys in my stomach when we talked.
for the first 4 weeks im glad, the feeling's really gone.
however, history starts to creep on me silently.
and BOOM. its here again.
goner.
so im here now.
nevermind,
i will forget soon.
sigh,
and its all because of you.

to think back, you've left us for 7 months or more. inevitably, our hurt that you're gone has decreased as the days passed by. however, the memories shall always be retained & safe in our heart. dont you worry about us anymore, the playful kids that you had always pampered have all grown up to be young adults.. knowledgeble enough to take care of ourselves le.
may you be happy in heaven (=

Loving you in perpetuity, ah gong.

suddenly i have the urge to ask u something;
have u read the friendster msg?
i know its like 2 months ago.. just before mid term test. so loong already
but,
if you have, just tell me ba.
dun worry, im not to increase your burden.
i know you're troubled enough..
im just curious though.

so.. erm ya, thanks (=

elearning week = sigh. sOO many things to do can!
)=
xiao nü go study liao.

BYEBYE.

i dun like mrt pole dancers at all.
especially when its crowded and ppl have no where to hold.
damn. =(

went vivocity today. maybe its new so the aircon is super cold~ brr. walked around. find vivo is just like any other shopping malls in spore. just that v is bigger and has a nice exterior view! i like the sky garden.. can see a stretch of sea and sentosa opposite. but today psi not that good la.
catched the movie flushed away. OMG. damn funny. i feel the main character is not that cute la, the slugs are better! urhahaha. after that went candy empire and bought 2 willy wonka chocolates. yea, willy wonka of charlie & choco factory. oh me, these chocs really existed can.
sigh, exams approaching in less than a week's time. but im doing nothing. dun have the mood blaa~ the motivation is still not there. all kinds of excuses la. i felt so down recently. but still happy on the other hand for some things. im nuts i can say.

BYE.

yesterday party was CRAZY. yea, crazy. the karaoke session was havock. we're throwing like ice? coaster? paper? cup & stool?! ahahaha, cos some of us really cannot sing but still wanna "show off" on stage. alright, im one of them la. sang with huiling the song I.O.I.O. we're the first team to get eliminated can.. sigh, they doesn't know how to appreciate GOOD SINGING. really have fun shouting, singing & crapping. i left at 2+ am.. yong yee drove us home ar. so nice of him, thankew yy! and we nearly get lost can. i was quite drowsy then.. but when i saw the signboard "TOWARDS JOHOR", im like WHAT!!?? ahahaha, but due to my cleverness (*dun bash me*) i manage to find the way home la.
okay;
and thats for yesterday.

5th nov
1pm to 3.30pm: was at metta SIMEI to do cip. the journey already yawn-ed la. furthemore, we're not wrapping presents as what they have told us la. we're simply doing
free labour la. carrying mountains of boxes which is damn heavy!! at least 4 5
kilos each loh. but nevermind, at least we've completed the cip. (x

4pm to 4.45pm: travel to cityhall with ho suk san. Lol-

5pm to 6.45pm: dinner at my beloved rakuzen! yipee ai ai~ ordered sushiya salada (s), sukiyaki
zen, dragon roll, & tempura udon! okay, with freebies of many more thingys la.
*burp* omg, damn full. ahahaha. phew, actually had severe stomach cramps de,
but now seems perfectly fine already. idiot, should have eaten my free macha
ice lo.

6.45pm to 7.10pm: WALKED from millenia walk to gashaus. i want to keep fit. joined syaq and
the rest for the performance.

7.30pm to 9.40pm: yoohoo. TheNerves rocks. okay, and
its crapping session, cam whoring and blaaaa~ FUN. yea guyss, pics will be
out ealiest by tmr. so grab from me by then. =D

9.40pm to 10.20pm: Mac eating friess~

10.20pm to 10.50pm: arcade-ing with syaq, elijah, leonard & jiuyuan. oh me, cant believe i lost to jiuyuan for bishi bashi. )'=


10.50pm to 12mn: dragged jiuyuan home so can take same train as mee. shalala, i just hate taking train alone for sucha long journey can.



okay;
and here am i now.
im tired liao,
tmr movie-ing with jie mei ops.

BYE!

im still pondering whether im going for the party tonight. you see those in the same age group as me: susan & her "ang" not going. SIGH. c.ann is sick. SIGH. huiling & allen have yet reply me. SIGH x2. so left only pohling, shunfa & ahxiang. however, they're working full so going or not is not a problem to them. but me, ME! im not! I need to go down specially.. which makes me quite demoralised. Sey, next time got party please give me work full hao ma? At least i can save a few strands of white hair from thinking too much. ='(
Yeap, later going syaq's house with the gang. should be fun i guess =D

today after school went to work as usual. nothing much happening though.. however, junning came to eat our restaurant! so long never see him le.. he'll never fail to tell his gf something everytime he sees me: "she very korean hor??" -___-" aiyo, im 100% singaporean can.. urhahahaha. but im gonna scold him, cos he never order macha ice for us! hmpf~ tsk tsk* so after work eat only chawamushi, fried rice & lady finger. ke lian, every night eat the same things. is only whether eat more or less.. LOL. i know la, you de chi yi jin tou siao le. LOL. ARGH, think one day i'll really die inside the kitchen can. the people inside damn lame.. went in less than a minute feel like dying already. their lame jokes, or rather, ***** jokes. must turn all of them to frogs one day. *waves wand* MUAHAHAHAHAHA~
should i go to the rkz kboxing tmr?
HMM;
whos going..
tell me quick, tell me huh, tell me.
i'll go if susan, allen, c.ann, shunfa, zixiang, sebastian, huiling, pohling, crystal, billy + etc etc (whose names i forgot la) are going. yi ke dou bu neng shao. HEHEHEH, if not i crap with who, tell me la. with *urhem.. cough* meh.. no la, throat itchy. (=

what am i thinking;
what am i wishing;
what am i missing;

tell me tell ME TELL ME.

..Nuts;
BYE.

woke up this morning and find my throat hurts. so skipped econs and pacc lecture.
went only for econs tutorial.
still be able to catch up during econs. if not wph will tell me grandma story again.. )x
after school went ps slack with syaq and leonard.
around 5+pm, leonard went off for his work. so left syaq and i to meet the rest for jamming!
yipee~ but abit crowded.. syaq, i, syuaib, syuaib's gf?, william, milton, eliser, irving.. 8 person!
i played drums as usual for the first half hour.. after that pass to the pros! (=
woohoo..
i headed home after jamming la, the rest still wandering around dunno where.. urhaha

okay;
thats all.
BYE!

i hope i can go school tmr. being sick for 2 days already..
sigh;
sleep, SLEEP!

..so what am i doing here.

okay,
BYE.

To: Singapore Polytechnic

Miss LMX. Vannessa is physically unfit for school for 2 days.

From 31 oct to 1 nov 2006.

D.r XXX clinic